5 Ways to Handle Life's Ups and Downs

This is my first post in a while. At one point I took the site down. September and October were full of extremes. Weeks where every little thing weighed me down, followed by a series of positive changes that seemed to just fall in my lap in a matter of days. This led to weeks of feeling unstoppable and that the pain was over. My path to peace and happiness was so clear and I was enjoying every freaking minute of it. 

Boxing analogy? Sure why not?

Then it happened again. One negative thing after another. Akin to Rocky taking a beating from the giant Russian in Rocky IV. How could this happen? I was finally on the path. The one that I prayed for. I'm supposed to be the happy guy. I'm supposed to be at peace. I'm supposed to be fulfilling a purpose. I'm supposed to be the fun guy who makes people laugh.

Guess what? Life is not designed that way. We need the bad to appreciate the good, the pain to experience the pleasure, and the gloomy days to appreciate the sunny ones. But why does it have to happen all at once? Well there is no answer to that and everyone experiences it. You may not realize that when your getting knocked down repeatedly by jabs, punches, and a uppercut. 

But what about those damn happy people?

Everyone experiences the peaks and valleys of emotions. This may be hard to believe because people handle things differently. Some are more prepared, some learned early on that old saying "this too shall pass", others may suffer quietly or not feel the need to share every exciting thing that happens to them. Everyone has a struggle of some kind. Take solace in that. You are not alone.

Maybe you're like me and have the tools but haven't used them enough to master the art of taking things as they come. Maybe you give great advice but don't practice it. Well then you're at the right place. Let's talk about... or let me talk about how to best handle life's ups and downs. 

1. It's All About Balance

Most people that know me swear I'm bipolar, but to quote Sheldon Cooper, "I'm not crazy, my Mother had me tested". It's how I handle the good that happens at once followed by the bad, then the good again. I go from anxious and depressed, to obnoxiously happy and excited in a matter of days. So prepare for some advice that I am currently practicing!

Now I'm not saying don't enjoy your happiness, but don't be afraid of life's next obstacle either. Take it in stride, savor it, don't gloat, stay humble, and most importantly be thankful for the goodness that you are experiencing. During this time you will concentrate on the beauty in this world because that is what you will be drawn to. 

There are downfalls of too much happiness. Yes I said it. You need balance. Too much of anything is not necessarily healthy. You may feel unstoppable and get caught up in a fantasy that nothing bad is ever going to happen again. There is a fine line between being overjoyed and living in fear of the next mess that's around the corner but you must find a way. 

When you're in a rut of wallow and despair you practice this same thing. Don't get too emotionally invested, try not to overshare, try not to overthink. Practice self-care, balance the good and the bad, and don't go to extemes. 

2. Take Action

Feeling super excited? You need to burn off that excess energy that is overwhelming you. Are you musically talented? Write a song. Photography? Take some great photos and capture that beauty you are able to see so vividly. Like nature? Take a walk in the woods. Whatever it is, celebrate your joy but don't over indulge. Make memories, physical or mental. This is you. This is your baseline. This is your best self. Capture it.

Conversely, when feeling down you can use that negative energy to create beauty. Resting is a huge part of self-care, but there is a time to take action. Paint, write a poem, listen to music, sing or dance. Volunteer! Helping others makes you feel like a champ. If you're not too down check in with a friend. Remember you are not alone and someone is always worse off than you.

Lastly, getting shit done and having a sense of accomplishment usually can snap you out of a funk. Make a short realistic to-do list. Errands, chores, cleaning, or taking on a small project can ease the mind.  Idle hands is the devil's work, or something like that. Take action!

3. Process What is Happening

First let's talk about the good. I think it is just as important how you deal with all the great things that can happen to you all at once. You need to keep your emotions in check and take the time to process what is happening. If you journal, these times are the best to document so you have a reminder during the bad times that it's temporary. 

Then as life does, things get messy. You get knocked down. Maybe just bad luck, maybe a poor decision but it happens. A change can happen that can have a negative impact on you or take you out of your comfort zone. A fight with a loved one, a traffic ticket, an injury, your boss decides to take his bad day out in you. It all seems to happen at once. 

Much like the highs in life you need to take time to process the lows. Process the experience. Take time to heal. Enjoy some alone time. Do things that make you happy. Remember those memories you made during the highs. Or use your nervous energy to create. This is the time to remember that this is temporary. 

4. Focus on the Positive

During a low period you notice a scratch or dent on your car, witness an argument amongst strangers over a parking space, litter on the side of the road... These things were already there, already happening. But you are now in a negative space so they are highlighted. Much like the beautiful colors of a flower garden that you saw during the ups, you are more likely to notice the ugliness in the world during the downs. 

The world can be a strange, scary, and cruel place. At the same time it can be beautiful and amazing and full of love. You can choose to concentrate on the destruction of a natural disaster. Or you can focus on the kindness of humans coming together to help one another during the aftermath.

5. Be Thankful

This is another step that is easier said then done. Especially when in a funk. But guess what? No matter how bad it is the good is still there. Take stock of the things in your life that make you happy. Or if you are already happy, appreciate the situation you are in.

Say it out loud, pray, talk to yourself, write a list, make a mental list. You have things to be thankful for. Your job, your family, your friends, people that support you, the roof over your head, your favorite vacation spot, the food on your table, your car, your pets... Whatever brings you joy, give thanks to that person, place, or thing.

I am currently experiencing what I am writing here. I am slowly coming out of a dark place. I am using this blog to write how I feel so the negative isn't trapped in my brain. I am remembering the good in this world. I am listing off what I am currently thankful for. I am praying, I am meditating, I am focusing on the beauty and trying really freaking hard not to dwell on the ugly. At the same time I am practicing coping mechanisms for anxiety and overthinking. Most importantly I am sharing what I am learning in the hopes that I can help others.

There it is folks. 5 ways to handle life's ups and downs. 

Remember to balance your feelings. Take action to burn excess energy. Process what is happening. Focus on the positives in life. Be thankful for what you have. 

If you resonated with this, and feel like this may be a great resource to share, then by all means gently tap one of those tiny social media icons below, and put my nonsense out into the ether. 

As always be kind to yourself. 

- Jay